2 Years Since Losing Shannon

Today  marks 2 years since my best friend Shannon was
killed through an act of Domestic Violence.
and an amazing beautiful person was taken from so many people who loved her..
As a whole..each year seems to get easier.
But certain days are easier than others.

I flew into atlanta for a quick 1.5 day trip a couple weeks ago.
And even though I never said it out loud…
that night in the hotel I had a dream…
I was sobbing.
and was wishing I could go down the street to see Shannon.
Deep down I felt like a trip back home to atlanta
wasn’t complete without seeing her.

Sometimes I watch the video I made below…just to hear her voice in the first clip.
The last voice mail she left me..that didn’t show up till she was already gone.
Some days I just can’t watch much further.
While other days I cling to those memories because it was my last moments with ‘her’…

The day I walked into her house for the first time since I
walked through that door WITH her…was a hard day.
But also a beautiful one because I was able to see her sweet babies happy and growing.
I look back..and remember how when it first happened.. I just remember this incredible weight I felt. sadness. anger. I felt like I could just tilt and fall right over.
I remember asking my mom if I would ever not feel this way.
But over time I found strength.. and motivation to be a good mom and wife and friend.
I remember finding it so hard to want to socialize with other moms…feeling like a best friend was taken and how could I ever have that connection with anyone else…
 but then suddenly it turned into a desire to be with other moms to take advantage of the time we have..the moments we have of interacting with people, to make them happy..to invest time into friendships because you never know when you will lose that person.
I started to realize that God puts people in your life for a reason.
Don’t take advantage of the time that you have… and the people in your life.

I remember the first e-mail I got from a reader telling me how shannon’s story changed their life and gave them strength to act when in a domestic violence situation.
I remember thinking THIS…. this is why I started this blog so long ago.
If my words on this blog can help ONE person..then YESSSS… it is worth it.

It is very easy to be angry over losing shannon.
I have gone through many stages of grief.. numbness, disbelief, sadness, and I’m definitely JUST leaving anger… I’m trying to shake that.. to not focus on the details of how she was taken…and WHO took her…but how we had shannon for those years.

I never want to forget the good memories..
the goofing off..
the time we were extras for a movie in atlanta.
goofing off on the set and having fun.
(bobby jones: stroke of genius)
going to dances!
getting all dressed up… cassie’s mom doing our hair.. ;)
feeling pretty and dancing the night away!

the bridal shower the girls threw me…
when they blindfolded me and took me to a restaurant.
(I just found, during the move, the little notebook that they
all wrote in the pages and gave to me. I re-read shannon’s page more than once.)

and having her there next to me the day
I was getting married.. getting our hair done.

I’m trying to hold onto those good memories.
I will always miss you shannon…but happy to have had you in my life.
blessed actually.
blessed to have had you in my life.
To read all posts related to Shannon you can click here.
Please share her story..donate if you can.
If you have been touched by her story and would like to 
visit her Memorial Page you can visit here

Please Pray for peace in our world 
and for all those affected by Domestic Violence.

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Wendy Brodecky
    April 9, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    She was incredibly beautiful, the pictures and video are amazing, I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. Your blog is amazing, so happy I found it.

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